Jokes

Off-Topic and Non-Corvette Related Discssion
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rbryce1
Corvette Addict
Corvette Addict
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Joined: Apr 8th, 2010 4:35 pm
Tell us about your Corvette: 2001 Targa Top Coupe, Stock 350/350 hp Automatic,
1968 Full Custom Corvette Convertible, 454/425 hp, Turbo-Hydromatic 400 Transmission with shift kit and stall converter. 1965 High Performance Resto-Mod Coupe, 350 LT-1/390 hp Kiesler 5-Speed
Location: Pinellas Park, Florida

Re: Jokes

Post by rbryce1 » May 30th, 2021 5:39 pm

Good Morning ........I love my Japanese Doctor.

TAKE GOOD CARE OF YOURSELF and have another FUN DAY!!!!!

Q: Doctor, I've heard that cardiovascular exercise can prolong life. Is this true?
A: Heart only good for so many beats, and that's it... Don't waste time on exercise. Everything wear out eventually. Speeding up heart not make you live longer; it’s like saying you extend life of a car by driving faster. Want to live longer? - Take nap.
Q: Should I reduce my alcohol intake?
A: Oh, no. Wine made from fruit. Fruit very good. Brandy distilled wine, that means they take water out of fruity bit so you get even more of goodness that way. Beer also made of grain. Grain good too. - Bottoms up!
Q: What are some of the advantages of participating in a regular exercise program?
A: Can't think of one, sorry. My philosophy: No pain...very good!
Q: Aren't fried foods bad for you?
A: YOU NOT LISTENING! Food fried in vegetable oil. How getting more vegetable be bad?
Q: Is chocolate bad for me?
A: You clazy?!? HEL-LO-O-O!! Cocoa bean! Another vegetable! It best feel-good food around.
Q: Is swimming good for your figure?
A: If swimming good for figure, explain whale to me.
Q: Is getting in shape important for my lifestyle?
A: Hey! 'Round' is also a shape!
Well... I hope this has cleared up any misconceptions you may have had about food and diets.
And remember:
Finally, my Japanese Doctor summed up: Life should NOT be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in an attractive and well-preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways - Beer in one hand - chocolate in the other - body thoroughly used up, totally worn out and screaming "WOO-HOO, what a ride my life was"!!!!!
Eat whatever you like because you will still DIE, don't allow motivational speakers deceive you.
1. The inventor of the treadmill had died at the age of 54.
2. The inventor of gymnastics died at the age of 57.
3. The world bodybuilding champion died at the age of 41.
4. The best footballer in the world Maradona, died at the age of 60.
BUT
5. The KFC inventor died at 94.
6. Inventor of Nutella brand died at the age of 88.
7. Imagine, cigarette maker Winston died at the age of 102.
8. The inventor of opium died at the age of 116 in an earthquake.
9. Hennessy Cognac inventor dies at 98.
How did these doctors come to the conclusion that exercise prolongs life?
The rabbit is always jumping up and down but it lives for only 2 years and the turtle that doesn’t exercise at all, lives 400 years.
So, take some rest, Chill, stay cool, eat, drink and enjoy your life because.... you will still die.