Search found 2022 matches

by vito
Apr 16th, 2020 2:06 pm
Forum: Off-Topic
Topic: Jokes
Replies: 522
Views: 97829

Re: Jokes

A Sailor sent an e-mail to his wife, informing her that his ship would be returning from deployment a day early. Arriving home, he found his wife with another man. Upset, he stormed off and got a room at the Navy Lodge to decide what to do next. His thoughts were interrupted by a call from his mothe...
by vito
Apr 15th, 2020 10:51 pm
Forum: Off-Topic
Topic: Jokes
Replies: 522
Views: 97829

Re: Jokes

Riddle: A woman shoots her husband. Then she holds him under water for over 5 minutes. Finally, she hangs him. But 5 minutes later they both go out together and enjoy a wonderful dinner together. How can this be? Answer: The woman was a photographer. She shot a picture of her husband, developed it, ...
by vito
Apr 15th, 2020 3:11 pm
Forum: Off-Topic
Topic: Jokes
Replies: 522
Views: 97829

Re: Jokes

A child asked his father, "How were people born?" So his father said, "Adam and Eve made babies, then their babies became adults and made babies, and so on." The child then went to his mother, asked her the same question and she told him, "We were monkeys then we evolved to become like we are now." ...
by vito
Apr 15th, 2020 12:18 am
Forum: Off-Topic
Topic: Jokes
Replies: 522
Views: 97829

Re: Jokes

If the coronavirus can live on plastic for 2 weeks, then a lot of women are in trouble :skep:
by vito
Apr 14th, 2020 9:23 pm
Forum: Off-Topic
Topic: Jokes
Replies: 522
Views: 97829

Re: Jokes

So I walked into this bar and heard two girls speaking in what sounded like a lovely Scottish accent. I walked over and said: "So, are you two girls from Scotland?" One of them said: "Wales Idiot!" So I said: "Oh, I am terribly sorry about that. So, are you two whales from Scotland?" That's the last...
by vito
Apr 14th, 2020 1:02 am
Forum: Off-Topic
Topic: Jokes
Replies: 522
Views: 97829

Re: Jokes

At 4 am a desk clerk at a hotel gets a call from a drunk guy asking what time the bar opens. "It opens at noon," answers the clerk. About an hour, later he gets a call from the same guy, sounding even drunker. "What time does the bar open?" he asks. "Same time as before - noon," replies the clerk. A...
by vito
Apr 13th, 2020 10:37 pm
Forum: Off-Topic
Topic: Jokes
Replies: 522
Views: 97829

Re: Jokes

What is a woman's idea of a balanced diet? A glass of wine in each hand! You know what's fun about being sober? Nothing. When do women drink alcohol? Wine O'Clock. What did the grape say when he got stepped on? He let out a little wine. How can you find the girl who drank an entire bottle of merlot?...
by vito
Apr 13th, 2020 2:14 pm
Forum: Off-Topic
Topic: Jokes
Replies: 522
Views: 97829

Re: Jokes

aircraft problems reported by pilots at the end of the day for the mechanics to fix before takeoff the next day followed by the notes the mechanics left for the pilots to read the next morning. (P) Left inside main tire almost needs replacement (S) Almost replaced left inside main tire (P) Something...
by vito
Apr 13th, 2020 12:04 am
Forum: Off-Topic
Topic: Jokes
Replies: 522
Views: 97829

Re: Jokes

The Chief of Staff of the US Air Force decided to personally recruit some pilots and he saw two young twins. He looked at the first young man and asked: "Son, what skills can you bring to the Air Force?" The young man looks at him and says: "I'm a pilot!" The General gets all excited, turns to his a...
by vito
Apr 12th, 2020 12:20 am
Forum: Off-Topic
Topic: Jokes
Replies: 522
Views: 97829

Re: Jokes

I was invited to a party. Suddenly I farted when an angry man shouted: "Why do you fart in presence of my wife?" I only gazed him for some moments and calmly told him:"Sorry I didn't know it was her turn."