Search found 2021 matches

by vito
Apr 25th, 2020 3:28 pm
Forum: Off-Topic
Topic: Jokes
Replies: 522
Views: 97825

Re: Jokes

A Washington reporter was awakened by her husband in the middle of the night. "I think there's a thief in the house," he said.

"No doubt," she said sleepily. "And there are a handful in the Senate, too."
by vito
Apr 25th, 2020 3:26 pm
Forum: C3 General
Topic: '65 Coupe Resto-Mod and '68 Full Custom Restoration
Replies: 1017
Views: 214918

Re: '65 Coupe Resto-Mod and '68 Full Custom Restoration

:cheers:

Reminds me of a Phil Collins song. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=egJR3K6UIJY

Can't wait to see it at your home. :thumbs:
by vito
Apr 24th, 2020 2:24 am
Forum: Off-Topic
Topic: Jokes
Replies: 522
Views: 97825

Re: Jokes

A thief stuck a pistol in a man’s ribs and said, “Give me your money.” The gentleman, shocked by the sudden attack, said: “You cannot do this, I’m a United States congressman!” The thief said, “In that case, give me my money!”
by vito
Apr 23rd, 2020 9:39 pm
Forum: Off-Topic
Topic: Jokes
Replies: 522
Views: 97825

Re: Jokes

A Liberal died and a friend went around collecting for a fund for his funeral.
A woman was asked to donate ten dollars.
"Ten dollars?" she said.
"It only takes ten dollars to bury a Liberal? Here's a hundred - go bury 10 of them!" :D
by vito
Apr 23rd, 2020 3:36 am
Forum: Off-Topic
Topic: Jokes
Replies: 522
Views: 97825

Re: Jokes

What do you get when you cross a corrupt lawyer with a crooked politician? Chelsea Clinton. :ack:
by vito
Apr 22nd, 2020 1:46 pm
Forum: Off-Topic
Topic: Jokes
Replies: 522
Views: 97825

Re: Jokes

Q: Have you heard about McDonald’s new Obama Value Meal?
A: Order anything you like and the guy behind you has to pay for it.
by vito
Apr 22nd, 2020 1:45 pm
Forum: Off-Topic
Topic: Jokes
Replies: 522
Views: 97825

Re: Jokes

If con is the opposite of pro, then is Congress the opposite of progress?
by vito
Apr 22nd, 2020 6:49 am
Forum: Off-Topic
Topic: Jokes
Replies: 522
Views: 97825

Re: Jokes

A guy and girl had sex poem competition.

Guy: "Two times two is four, four plus five is nine. I can put mine in yours, but you can't put yours in mine."

Girl: "Two times two is four, four plus five is nine. I know the length of yours, but you won't know the depth of mine."

:willy:
by vito
Apr 22nd, 2020 1:03 am
Forum: Off-Topic
Topic: Jokes
Replies: 522
Views: 97825

Re: Jokes

Weather at our destination is 50 degrees with some broken clouds, but they'll try to have them fixed before we arrive. Thank you, and remember, nobody loves you or your money, more than Southwest Airlines."
by vito
Apr 21st, 2020 9:38 pm
Forum: Off-Topic
Topic: Jokes
Replies: 522
Views: 97825

Re: Jokes

This contractor guy dies in a tragic accident on his 40th birthday. He ascends to heaven where he’s greeted at the Pearly Gates by a brass band and Saint Peter. Saint Peter shakes the guys hand warmly, and says “Congratulations!” The contractor is a little confused. “Congratulations for what?” he as...